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On the Threshold… (24-11-02)
a full field of wheat ripples in the wind golden
bursting with ripeness its time for harvest says the Reaper and with his scythe harvests… carries to the mill to the the threshold, the thrashing floor yes he will thrash you young grain to
within an inch for the Reaper is the Dweller and the threshing floor his domain he hangs his scythe by the door where you long to meet the Angel on the other side but first your heart will winnow the husks of lives memories
loves and hurts let the wind blow
them away Courage to be Rich (6-2-03)
daunted hearts shiver in the shadow pale at the prospect of
living rather than evoke the courage to be rich fearfully undeserving they fight over scraps at the Lord’s feast rewarding His generosity with a parsimonious heart squeaking timid like mice under the table… to be wealthy to be a ‘rich young man’ with
a well harder the heart must toil fear and scare flip to love and dare learn these laws and sovereignty is yours and, sovereigns will pile high on your floors!
(22-4-03)
sometimes I feel like a motherless child onetime I fell into the otherless wild mother where are you? its so lonely out here in the otherless wild I fell into the blackest and endless abyss… kept plummeting headlong… would have preferred to land with a thud impaling myself upon the spent and jagged arrows of past unruly forays but no finite understanding here for this earthbound beast braying hoarse by the pen… instead just keeps swallowing him up reeling in his never ending ribbon of self unravelling like streamers at some sad wedding… sails reduced to rag flapping madly as he falls pauperish Icarus bombing out after tilting at Apollo now pendant twixt earth and Sun crucified on the crossbeam of Moon and Mars with Saturn and Pluto for an upright… there be the crux of matter
there I see his hideous face blinking in the glare of my shocked stare only glimpsed before but captured now in movement long enough to get a fix like snapping the elusive yeti
thanks to the nymph of the labyrinth who could take a stand who could withstand the furious barrage and fearful struggle of the cornered beast powerless, now brought to ground…
winged messenger you were a witness you held a mirror you unbound by holding it down long enough to see, that death must come to that ancient part of me.
(11-09-2003)
how can the unfathomable be plumbed? beached at high water mark left high and dry gasping for water while
the tides of the heart revealing
sandy shoals ran aground then ran to ground… the depths of loneliness belong to a bottomless sea where
silence screams the careless fisherman dumped his catch eventually caught a Jonah consuming him and his boat a
vertical dive weeks then months the bends set in narcosis neurosis solitary paralysis suffocating isolation… lucky it was only a dream from
which he finally awoke
How Can I Count the Ways?
love me only if I am not who I used to be love me only if
I am not love
me only an
emotional love me only if
I am reminding you of
your frailties if I do not appear vain love me only if I do not threaten who you think you are love me only if
I am not in love me only if it does not spoil your cute way of how you see your community love me only if I worship the same god love me only if we see I to I love me only if I do not upset your world love me while you block my heart with artful shadow play love me while you avoid direct dialogue because you choose to fish in shallow water love me in word but don’t demonstrate the deed love me with a few words tossed carelessly like a quick salad with a dash of compassion dressing love me like a frilly shop window with no stock at the back of the shop love me like you’re wearing authentic armani tho’ you merely masquerade love me with all your conditions and rules like
souless that ties my heart in knots love me vainly with your projected image of what you want me to see but don’t you know? I see through all your cardboard cutout not-selves cowering in fear like barren Amazonians dreading the visit of Hercules love me like you had a thousand precious girdles! love me only ‘in the field’ plant the seed in the furrow cultivate your new crop you are still chewing on the withered kernels of past harvests love without fear dare to love le couer conquers love me tender love me right love me… in the long night
Sun opposite Jupiter I am the mighty river sweeping down the land in full flood bursting the banks as I race to the sea naught can stop this monsoon season look out all lesser tributaries lest this artery swollen swallows you up in its gushing forth! pumping the gladatorial heart that lifts the sword defiant, flashing in the wide sky hearken! hear this heart and
its trilling song
these
deep interiors is
seeming… shackled
by smugness… these petty lilliputians so
scared and scarred at some muddy pool in drought serving
out their exile |